When Julie needs a good laugh................

This pic here, is all I need to get me through a bad day. Thanks Shiv for allowing me to capture this pic on your camera. lmao... I hope all of you enjoy, and when in a horrible mood.. Think of my Niece and Nephew.

Thank you

My beautiful sis drove out from St. Albert to help me out after surgery, but before I start bragging about Jody and telling you all about surgery day, I want all of you to know that I have two older sisters Lori, and Shelly who are amazing as well. I don't ever want to neglect mentioning them because family is important.

 

It's family that matters most, and it's the love that comes from ones heart to decide certain avenues. Some not so great, but when you have a beautiful family you do anything to keep them safe and will love them unconditionally. So thank you, Mackenzie, Madison, Mayson, my daughters are my life and without them making me giggle at times or pissing me off, I might have crawled into a ball and hid. Thank you to all the men. Tim, my brother-in-laws and my XY friends. You have all been wonderful. 

 

And of course my mom. Thanks for all you do for us. We love you. 

 

 

 Thanks you to all my loves who have reminded me over the years how strong I am!

My beautiful girls with Cam apart of our family!

 

 

I have Breast Cancer

August 22, 2013 I got the call to come see my Doctor for the results. After hanging up the phone I called my sweet Jody and cried. She cried with me. I told her this, " Jody, if this is breast cancer I need you to be prepared." I needed so badly for Jody to be good if even if it was bad news. I (at that moment) was worried about Jody. I was worried because I already had that feeling, like I said in previous posts, I already knew I was up for a fight.

As I left my driveway that day, I sang over and over again Hurricane by ms mr! I was singing it so loud and hoping when I got to the doctor's office I'd hear good news. You see, I never lost the hope even knowing I was going to hear the worst.
sitting in the doctors office waiting was enough to make me go crazy. As I looked up I saw the door open and I instantly started crying. My doctor looked at me and said, " I don't have good news, Julie." She told me I had breast cancer and was teary eyed telling me. Everything else she told me was a blur. I asked her if I could take the papers and read them myself. She agreed and I was out of there.

Driving home was a bunch of phone calls and tears.. Many tears. I had breast cancer.... 38 years old wondering how could this have happened to me. The only 3 people I didn't really talk to were my beautiful daughters. I wanted to tell them in person. I knew they were waiting for me at home. As I drove up the driveway I looked at myself in the mirror, and took a deep breath. I was still crying as I opened the door to see my girls waiting for me at the table. Once we all made eye contact they knew what I was about to tell them.. All we could do was hold each other tight, and cry....

I had a lot of people visit me the weekend following my diagnosis. I needed my family. I needed to wrap my head around what was about to be my world, but instead I found myself at the bottom of a wine bottle for 2 days straight. I knew I had cancer, but I didn't want to believe it. I felt like I was in a dream. I still want to wake up. You will hear me say that often because it just feels so surreal.

Weathering the storm

I came back from Osoyoos, BC and got on the phone immediately and called to have a mammogram. They booked my in for Aug. 7. I didn't have long to wait for this appointment, but it felt like forever. I hadn't known I had cancer, but what I felt in my left breast did not feel normal. On the day of the appointment I was feeling pretty confident that everything was going to be ok.

I arrived at the clinic and there I was squishing my breast in this machine. I knew what to expect because I have done them before. Women always wonder if it hurts and I tell them, no it doesn't hurt at all. The tech had finished her screening and then came up to me oh so jolly saying I think you need to go for an ultrasound. Looking over my papers again she said, "oh, one is already scheduled for you." I was a little alarmed, seeing that the tech was sending me for an ultrasound not even knowing one was set up for me. In the past I've always done both. By this point my mind was racing. I'm starting to think that what I felt in Osoyoos was....Breast Cancer??

I got myself all prepared for the ultrasound. The Technician took many pictures. I felt like I was in there for hours. She then took many pictures under my armpit. I knew this was normal, so I didn't panic. Once she was done, she told me to wait while she asked another technician to give a second opinion on what she found.

It didn't take long for the second technician to look at my pictures and say they needed to see me in a day or two. What? All I could was cry. Everything I was fearing was becoming a reality and I hadn't even been diagnosed. As I walked out of that room I felt this uneasy feeling come over me and sobbed in the change room. A few minutes later I got myself together and went to the front desk to set up my appointment for a biopsy. To my surprise they couldn't get me in till August 19th. I had to wait 12 days to find out what that was in my breast, but deep down I already knew.

My family and I went camping to pass the time with some of the most wonderful people I know. For the most part, I enjoyed myself and tried not to think about what was possibly growing in my breast. I could shut it off, but there were some days I went through panic attacks. My sweet sister-in-law, Jilly would have to calm me down. When I look back at that trip, I now realize how enjoyable it was. We allowed ourselves to just be in the moment. I had many giggles with my brother-in-law Denis and great chillin' time with BK and TK. The kids were playing, swimming, kayaking.  A lot of memories were made this summer in Wasa.