Weathering the storm

I came back from Osoyoos, BC and got on the phone immediately and called to have a mammogram. They booked my in for Aug. 7. I didn't have long to wait for this appointment, but it felt like forever. I hadn't known I had cancer, but what I felt in my left breast did not feel normal. On the day of the appointment I was feeling pretty confident that everything was going to be ok.

I arrived at the clinic and there I was squishing my breast in this machine. I knew what to expect because I have done them before. Women always wonder if it hurts and I tell them, no it doesn't hurt at all. The tech had finished her screening and then came up to me oh so jolly saying I think you need to go for an ultrasound. Looking over my papers again she said, "oh, one is already scheduled for you." I was a little alarmed, seeing that the tech was sending me for an ultrasound not even knowing one was set up for me. In the past I've always done both. By this point my mind was racing. I'm starting to think that what I felt in Osoyoos was....Breast Cancer??

I got myself all prepared for the ultrasound. The Technician took many pictures. I felt like I was in there for hours. She then took many pictures under my armpit. I knew this was normal, so I didn't panic. Once she was done, she told me to wait while she asked another technician to give a second opinion on what she found.

It didn't take long for the second technician to look at my pictures and say they needed to see me in a day or two. What? All I could was cry. Everything I was fearing was becoming a reality and I hadn't even been diagnosed. As I walked out of that room I felt this uneasy feeling come over me and sobbed in the change room. A few minutes later I got myself together and went to the front desk to set up my appointment for a biopsy. To my surprise they couldn't get me in till August 19th. I had to wait 12 days to find out what that was in my breast, but deep down I already knew.

My family and I went camping to pass the time with some of the most wonderful people I know. For the most part, I enjoyed myself and tried not to think about what was possibly growing in my breast. I could shut it off, but there were some days I went through panic attacks. My sweet sister-in-law, Jilly would have to calm me down. When I look back at that trip, I now realize how enjoyable it was. We allowed ourselves to just be in the moment. I had many giggles with my brother-in-law Denis and great chillin' time with BK and TK. The kids were playing, swimming, kayaking.  A lot of memories were made this summer in Wasa.

My Story

I was sitting in my twins backyard wondering, "what are we going to do this summer?" In the past we always headed to Osoyoos, BC where my parents bought a house. It was a retirement home for the two of them to enjoy and finally put themselves first. After raising 4 daughter of their own, mom and dad were ready to be empty nesters and live in beautiful British Columbia. Sadly for my father, it was short lived. My father was diagnosed with stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. We were all devastated. My father lived a year after diagnosis. He passed away January 4th 2004.  My mom decided to keep the house and since then, we have enjoyed many summer holidays in Osoyoos.

This past summer, my twin sis Jods and I decided we weren't going to head to Osoyoos. Considering  we go every year, we thought we might try something different.

What were we going to do?

We pondered and both looked at each other and said " why wouldn't we go to Osoyoos, we love it there." So it was final, we were planning another beautiful trip to Osoyoos, BC.

We finally arrived and were so excited because this time instead of staying at my Mom's place the whole time we made reservations to stay in Jody and Ken's Condo. It was a beautiful time with amazing weather.

We all loved our time together. Every day/evening we would head down to my mom's for a few cocktails and share our stories. I'm not sure what the conversations were about, probably health and living a life fulfilled instead of living it with the cup half empty when I discovered a lump in my breast. I kept feeling it for it didn't feel normal. Shortly after that I got my sister, Jody, to come feel it. She gave me this funny look and said, "um, I'd get that checked." When my mom felt it she said, "oh, it's probably nothing but I'd go check it out." After feeling it a bit I never gave it much thought. I figured once I'm home I'd deal with it then.

The night before Jody and I left to go back home we were both uneasy about something. Our sleep that night felt like no sleep at all. The "things" I was dreaming about kept me up all night. I noticed Jody tossing and turning as well. I didn't want to wake her, but a few times she was screaming in her sleep. I left her alone and tried my hardest to get some rest. Morning came and we were off, back to awesome Alberta. About 3 hours into our drive I looked at Jods and said I needed to talk to her about a dream I had. She looked at me with a strange look and said she also had odd dreams that night. I started off by telling her of the faces I was seeing. They were native people screaming at me, but I could hear them. There faces so close to mine screaming words, but nothing was coming out. Jods, looked at me with wide eyes and said, "that was my dream too Jules!"

The reason I'm telling you all this, is because this was the beginning of what will be the biggest and most challenging year of my life. I wouldn't know it then, but as I go further on in my story I realize I'm going to have to get ready for battle.