Round 2...

This round I brought my Ninja Krista or shall I say, she brought me. Krista  has been my beautiful, inspiring best friend for 20 years. She has been standing tall beside me from the beginning. She has shown her Ninja self from time to time in the years, and we have always had each other's back... A lot of the "I'll save yours," was shits and giggles from getting punched by a pimp. Not so funny then, but today the story gets better and better. To speaking on behalf of my sisters and I at my dad's celebration of life, to walking every journey beside me... Never in front, never behind, always side by side.

In our lives we always knew we had each other. Thank you for taking off work to be with me Yesterday. Having you there meant so much, and I know you'd do it again. It was nice of you to pick me up Monday night for a sleepover, and I had a great time seeing the girls and chilling with my boy, Jeff.  He always know how to make me laugh!

 

I was a bit teary eyes when I first got in there. I think I always will.. It's an overwhelming feeling in so many ways. I kind of know the drill, but some fear comes over me, is it going to burn this time going in? will it work. But mostly I feel for the one sitting beside me. I love everyone around me, so I know they are hurting for me. I just seem to do all the crying for us. lol...Krista is really one of the strongest people I know, and instantly can make you laugh. She helped me forget where I was and we just allowed ourselves to enjoy each other.. I love her for that...Her presence touches souls..

Here she is sharing her hair. Which gave us an idea. Let's go wig shopping!! I think it's time I get some hair. The 3 hrs felt like minutes when you're surrounded by positive energy. It was funny, Jody would text in a lot saying " I can't do this, I'm not doing this again. I have to be at every chemo treatment." Jody you're so cute. Having you there would have been more shits and giggles. xo

 

This is the one I bought for myself. I put it on and looked at Krista with big smiles. I could tell she was happy just seeing me smile big. She's like "a girl needs hair to play around with, and that's the one!" But as I was trying on more, I felt like myself more than I have since finding out I HAD breast cancer. Krista could feel the joy and I could see it in her smile so guess what she did next.........Look below at pic!!

 

 

This is the wig my beautiful Krista bought for me. Without any hesitation she said, "You look so happy and I want you to feel beautiful and sexy!" These wigs are not cheap, for Krista to think of me and do something so wonderful, and on many occasions that day, I cried with joy in my heart. I love you Krista, and thank you for the beauty you share and the strength you give to others. Your heart is so big, and I'm glad I'm in it!

 

 

 

 

Now seeing that I'm grateful for all the love that has come my way, I want to do my gratitude list. I want all my loved ones I'm extremely grateful for all you have done.

 

Brenda, thank your for all the wonderful meals you have brought over every day 1 of chemo... I'm blessed just knowing you and your beautiful spirit.

 

Angela, thank you for our Sunday meals. I just love you!

 

Jody, You know what you do for me... and that's mostly everything. Love you so much..

 

Mel, Your page is coming..my beautiful Guru. Also was so happy to hear the good new today. xo

 

Shiv, Hope to see you this weekend.. Miss you.

 

My surthrivers, I love you all very much. You know who you are.

 

To all the wonderful friends who have texted me and that I miss dearly from the Fort. Thank you for walking this "Quest" with me.

 

Angela from the fort. You keep me BRAVE. So glad I have you to chat with..

 

Jilly, taking Mayson this weekend, not only helps me out but will give her a weekend of fun with her cousins!!! love you!

 

Timmy...Thank you for putting up with me. You're the one who sees the most of my ups and downs. I'm positive I'm driving you nuts... but... too bad!!  Love you.

 

Shelly, Lori.... You guys are great big sisters. I appreciate all you have done for me. From goodies, to slippers and grocery shops to getting me all I needed to feel comfortable. love you both.

 

And now to my MOMMY, Having you here a few weekends ago was so amazing. I learned from you that weekend, and I thought you taught me all I knew already. You showed me patience. How my girls just love you, and how patient you are with them only reminds me why they love you so much. I was so amazed and I forgot you had that amazing talent.  My babies, your grand daughter, adore you Mom. You are their GMA, and my amazing mother. Hurry back.. Love you so much.

 

My babies, thank you for all you have helped with, and thank you for continuing to keep this house feel the same.. (argue with me everyday. keeps the normal in our lives.) it allows me to forget about my cancer and want to kick your asses....Hahahahahahahaha. I love you girlies so much and I wouldn't want my life to be normal. I like all the crazy that's in it!

 

 

Now I thought I'd do a throw back pic. Enjoy and all have a great night. Be grateful for everyday. They can be scary days, teary days, happy days, or pissed off days. Just find some time in that day to feel blessed with what you have and what you have accomplished. Good night friends.

 

 

 

 One of my fondest memories. I time we grew and a place we loved. We have to re-created this pic!

 

 Something I do often. I love to remember what great memories I have had throughout the years...

 

 

 

 

When Julie needs a good laugh................

This pic here, is all I need to get me through a bad day. Thanks Shiv for allowing me to capture this pic on your camera. lmao... I hope all of you enjoy, and when in a horrible mood.. Think of my Niece and Nephew.

Feelings...

I can say that it still feels surreal. Looking at myself in the mirror everyday, is a huge reminder that "you have cancer girl." When Jody shaved my head I thought the feeling of losing my hair was dealt with. Taking control of what was inevitable was my plan. I was taking action. Sadly, the pain of losing what was left of my hair has put me through a few tears. I keep reminding myself, just because you cry doesn't mean your weak. It means you're human. It means exactly what you wanted it to mean. I'm a women battling cancer. I'm a women with tears of strength, and I'm a women who takes every moment in, feels it, surrenders to it and then, lets it go.

My sister Shelly called me one day and said, " Jules, in your darkest moments, you picked yourself  up off that floor. You took control and moved." I don't go back to those days, for I couldn't even explain the fear that consumed me. I can say this though, I'm not going to let some word "Cancer" define me! Cancer is only a word of fear, and I choose to not let it scare me, I choose to embrace "Julie's Quest" and help someone else find there inner peace.

 

The past couple weeks, I got the pleasure in taking Mackenzie's grad dress shopping. She found the most beautiful dress. We had a beautiful day, and surprisingly I kept the tears in. On a side note....we were both offered jobs at BCBG. Ha Ha.

 

Everyday has been a blessing and I was surprised with the energy I did have on my good days. Sunday we will all set up the tree and enjoy each other..lol..Probably run into a few arguments, but that's our home. A bunch of opinionated ladies..haha.. (As for Tim.... He'll just go grab a Kokanee..)

 

Most of my days before Cancer, I was happy. I laughed lots, and during the days following cancer, I have enjoyed life and laughed more.. If that is even possible?! Like I said before, " I have cancer, cancer doesn't have me... Well, it took my f--king hair..lol.. Do I still have the tears, of course I do. I think tears and giggles are good for the soul. I've never tried to hide the person I am, so I'm not going to start now. I'm grateful today, and I'm lucky to have the amazing family(s) that I do. I'm darn lucky I have my senoritas.

November 25th I go for blood work, and if my blood counts are good, Chemo November 26th. I do still get anxiety knowing I have to put all those meds in my body, but I soon remind myself it's helping me get better. It's my insurance to a healthier, stronger Julie!!

loves to all of you, and keep smiling!

 

Days after treatment...

To all who have asked how my first treatment went?  I'm on day 6 and with just a few side effects, I've been doing AWESOME. It's still weird looking at myself without hair. LOL.. Most times I giggle at myself and sometimes I have a little tear. It's just so surreal still. Everyday, I get stronger and learn something new about myself. Sometimes facing the fears and the unknowns can be overwhelming but that's life, right? We sometimes fall and get up, we sometimes fail, and get up. It's a reminder that WE can learn and grow with each experience we have.

I HAVE CANCER, CANCER DOESN'T HAVE ME!

A place I go to walk with my sister Lori. I  look forward to to these walks. Helps my nerves..

Fish Creek Park in the summer, such a beautiful place to go and just be.. Me, myself and I.

I will continue smiling and laughing hard. In life it's what we do to better our days. We can sit or we can continue on moving. Some of my days will be challenging, but I will make sure I do it with a smile! xo

So touching

Thank you to everyone. I have many people to thank for helping me through this difficult time. Kristi, Debbie, Cindy, Maria who are living proof of kicking cancers ass, without you guys helping me through this crazy, Mind fuck of a time I'd be lost. You guys took some of the darkness away. Angela, thank you for all your love and support. It shows much strength, courage and love to help me with my Quest while you're battling your own. You have been my eyes when I couldn't look any further. I'm proud of you Ang!  I'm looking forward to having drinks with all you lovely ladies. To my beautiful daughters from the fort, you all know who you are, I love you guys and miss your loud ass, dancing, crazy personalities in my house.

To MY beautiful daughters. I love you guys so much and couldn't be more proud of you all. I will forever be in your corner.

My daughters Madison and Mayson and Madison's friends (Aspen) did up these shirts and ran. Ironically it was the same day of my surgery. I was so moved.

Here is one of my Ninjas.

Here is Kristi sporting some fighting power for herself, me and other women. So Proud.

And here are my Ash, Syd and Nicole running for the cure, running for there future.

I am so grateful and can't evn express.

 Love you!

To all the beautiful people in my life...

I want to share some of the amazing things that my family and friends were so kind to do for me. I'm so blessed to have these people in my world. I can't express enough how grateful I am to have each and everyone of you in my life. A lot of my friends throughout this Quest have send flowers, bought me little gifts, and have cooked wonderful meals to show there support, so thank you. Xo

I had this tattoo picked out for me a good few months ago. Those two words spoke so many words to me, but now they sing. I can only be so grateful for the life I choose and looking forward to the life I want!

My Sis Jods gave me this card with a beautiful Necklace that I will post under this. I can't express enough how fucking lucky I am to have her walk this Quest with me. She has been my rock and my voice. Thank you my dear Sis for making this walk easier every step of the way.

It is an angel wing. It came with two, but I gave her the other to wear, so we feel connected when she's not right beside me. It's a twin thing. Some can handle it and some question it, but we are the ones loving it and couldn't be more lucky than to have each other.

My Girlfriend Siobhan requested  I receive this handmade quilt donated by Victoria Quilts Canada. I was so moved by this gesture, and a wonderful women came to my door and delivered it personally. She said " this quilt will keep you warm while your in treatments, and the ladies who made this quilt made it by loving hands to give you warmth and comfort." I broke down and cried, for I thought it was a beautiful thing for my friend to do but a great foundation to help all with cancer.

www.victoriasquiltscanada.com.  There is also an American website, just not sure of it.

Here are some of the beautiful flowers I received from so many.  I couldn't put all the arrangements up, but please know I'm thankful for all who sent some and they made my house look fresh and vibrant. It was great to have such beauty in my house for those days of sadness. xoxoxoxo

Here are some angels that Patricia and Donna gave me to keep me safe while I embark on this quest. I also got this beautiful Necklace from a friend, Kayln. It was such a great surprise to receive this in the mail. Thanks ladies for the love and support.

Haircuts.

This was written by my one of my daughters friends Miranda. She is such a blessing in my life.

Jody did my first cut! It was teary. My youngest had a hard time with it. But we all got through it.

End result. Wasn't bad. We cut a good few inches off, but I embraced the change.

Second Haircut! Went a lot shorter.

This day, I was just playing around with what hair I knew was almost going to go. I tried to enjoy as much as I could with the hairdos. Ha..

Oncologist day and day 1 of first round of chemo

I met my Oncologist and he explained what kind of meds I will be taking. I will be having 6 treatments every 3 weeks. The first 3 are a bit hard, because I'm young they want to hit it hard. The last 3 aren't as harsh. I said ok, lets do this. He then said we need to book you in for an ECG..Arg, another test! Yes, more baseline tests. He also wanted me to do a chest x-ray and bone scan . I said, " my surgeon didn't request those?" He then said, "well I'm your Oncologist and I would like you to take them." I started to cry, because I hate the tests. After the scare with the liver I didn't want to do anymore tests. I told my Oncologist this, and he said I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do. So I decided to wait and take them for later. I'm someone who can't live with the unknown, especially now. I was a smoker for 24 years. I knew what my lungs looked like, I told him. Ugly, dark and spotted. He said, "yes your probably right, but you no longer smoke remember." That's right, I quit August 24th. He made me feel a bit better. But please. The things we do to our body, to only be faced with the consequences.

Chemo day came quick! My sister Jody came with me and Tim met us at the hospital later. Jody promised she will be there for everyone if the weather is good. We got to hospital and they called my name. I was strong until that point. I started to cry, Jody cried with me and our beautiful nurse got teary eyed and made us feel a lot better. She got me all ready for meds, explained everything that was going to go on. Jods and I started crying again. My nurse then looked at me and said, " I have some Ativan, would you like to take it?" I didn't hesitate. I gobbled it down;)

On my way to the hospital for my first treatment. I look pumped?? Not so much. Just getting my warrior on!!lol..well I tried..haha

Jods and I still smiling. With sadness we must triumph on and be happy.. " I've got you babe." Here I go singing to myself again. geez..

Me all plugged in to the meds that will kick cancers ass!! It didn't hurt at all. I was afraid of that, but all was good and very comfortable. To the nurses and volunteers thank you for making my first visit warm, comfortable, informative and thank you, thank you for the giggles..

Well I think I'm ready to Post and share to all my family, friends, and to anyone who needs a little love, support and encouragement. You are not alone. I will be posting my days with you all so you all have answers and so that you can all follow Julie's Quest. Love to you all. xoxo

Here was the last cut Jods did before shaving my head. My daughters were with us and we cried and laughed. I think that was the day it became a little more real for my beautiful daughters. It was great to see them continue to stay strong through it all. After the shaving, my oldest daughter (Mackenzie) did up my makeup. She made me feel beautiful. Then we took pics all night.

I am now believing in tomorrow. I have had many ups and downs during this QUEST, but still find it in my nature to sing, smile and laugh hard. Life brings us things we feel we have no power over, but to all you who read this never forget we are strong and we fight. We are warriors.

My Mackenzie, wrote this the day after my head was shaved. She has been so strong for me in ways where the laughter just roars when she does one of her goofy impressions. Just having her in the room brightens the darkest days. I am so blessed to have such beautiful girls who think of others and who walk with pride and dignity.