Hello friends! I have had a busy month since finishing my Radiation. All of my days, thus far, have been filled with Happiness. After dealing with all that ugliness this winter, I just wanted to runaway from it, and enjoy the beauty I so longed for in those darker days.
Radiation went well. I was scared going into it. Again, it was like walking into a dark room, not knowing what was to become of you.(right from a horror flick) haha... I had no idea what was to happen.. My first day, I felt very nervous. The anxiety that came over me was crazy. You see, for me, because my CANCER was on my left breast I had to hold my breath for 20 seconds every time they radiated. Ya, I know... try holding your breath for 20 seconds..GO!!!!!!!! Just a lot to think about... I just had to do it correctly for I was afraid my organs would be damaged..I will find out on June 9, 2014 my progress, and how my body is healing. I feel fantastic, so I'm hoping good new!
This was my bed. The first day of Radiation took about an hour. Measurements and such. In that hour, I think i contemplated running out of their 100 times. It was like my legs had their own mind..( lets get the fuck out of here) Believe it or not, I stayed and trooped it out...As the days went by, it got easier. It was nice most days because I got to see my lady Radiologists, who were so amazing..They made every appointment comfortable. Hard to believe that the Tom Baker has been my JOB these past few months.
Two of the 4 amazing ladies that I got the bitter-sweet privilege in meeting.. I can say that being in the CANCER world you are very well taken care of. Sometimes the Docs don't say much, which sucks, but all in all the care you receive is amazing..
Their are many volunteers that come in everyday to play piano. This gentleman was one of my favourite. He would play Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, to a simple favorite of mine.. "Somewhere over the Rainbow!" It was a place to reflect, and be grateful I had today.. It allowed me to be!!
Here is the ribbon stand! Once you successfully finish Radiation you get to ring the bell, tie a ribbon, honouring what you have accomplished. I thought it would be comforting to pay tribute to, a special someone, my daddy, who lost his battle to Cancer. He was one of the most amazing spirits and I miss him everyday. His ribbon is the light blue one..The purple is for one who is still fighting, Mrs. Tonya Nixon. I love you and think of you everyday. I sent it out to the Universe that you will be a happy, beautiful source of energy that will surge through us when times seem difficult. You will help us rise above, and give us our smile when sadness tries to defeat us.Forever loved.... To all the ladies that stood beside me, who have battle Breast Cancer, Thank you for all your support and love. Without you ladies, Ang, Debbie, Cindy, Kristi, Maria, Tina, things would have been so much scarier. I have found friends in all of you, and couldn't be more proud to know we have each others hearts. When days get tough, I think we all know we can count on each other to help pick us up, even when we don't want to look up. much love.....
Through this QUEST I have learnt things about me. I have tapped into my inner self and realised i was not living my authentic self.. Fear creates a barrier, and unless you go right through it, you will never get to the next step.. A dear loving person told me, "there will be many forks and all will lead to something wonderful and unexpected." Hearing that, amongst many other beautiful words spoken, I knew that JULIE wasn't going to hide anymore..We are faced with fear everyday, it's how we conquer the fear itself that will define us and make us better human beings. My life as I know it, is blessed. I am grateful for all that I have, and all that I WILL accomplish. My truth is my story, and man, I have an amazing one to tell. I'm excited for tomorrow, and live everyday just a little different. We all change and evolve as people. Getting the chance to live my BEST life excites me. It gives me hope...
Much love,
Jules xo
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