The biopsy began, but to my surprise they were also going to biopsy a Lymph Node. Right then and there I started balling. My body was shaking uncontrollably and I was an utter mess. The Technician looked at me and said, "Julie, It is a small lump. You need to stay strong and fight." It was like she already knew what she had seen. I calmed myself down and allowed them to do there job. If anyone is wondering out there, it didn't hurt at all. Some people told me it really hurt, but in my experience I want to let you all know it didn't hurt at all. The only thing that hurt was the "knowing" something is seriously wrong.
Once out of there, I ran to the truck and cried. I didn't stop crying. I drove to my sister Lori's and sobbed in her backyard and she cried with me. It was like we both didn't want to know, but in some sort of weird way we knew it was more serious then what we thought. My sister Lori was a lot more positive then I was. All my beautiful girl friends were just as positive. They thought, its just Julie being paranoid. For those few days before the result came in, I stayed positive like my sisters did, I giggled with my friends saying " I'm just paranoid." But behind the phone, and behind closed doors I knew.
On the August 21st I was so stressed out that I needed to drink a nice bottle of red. Tim joined me drinking his beer and we sat in the front just talking and watching Mayson and her good friend Eden dress up like zombies. I couldn't help but take some good pics.
Then all of a sudden in tears and trying to convince myself that what I know isn't what it is, a beautiful humming bird comes up right beside me to get some nectar off a beautiful flower I planted. It was so beautiful. It not only came back once but it came back three times. I knew it was a good omen. What purpose it was going to have on my life, I was unsure. I just knew through whatever storm I hit, there will be sunshine again. There will be beauty, and there will be life.
No comments:
Post a Comment